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Fun: Microsofts Genuine Advantage Support

September 29th, 2006 2 comments

src: http://linux.wordpress.com/2006/09/28/fun-microsofts-commercial-support/

A lot of managers are afraid to use Open Source Software, because it doesn’t come with any support. Of course that isn’t true. It is a classical piece of FUD. And then again, how much is support worth?

MS: Microsoft Support. Good morning, sir. Can I help you.
IC: I have a problem. My computer has halted with a message.
MS: What’s the message, sir.
IC: ReadStringFromInf: UpdSpGetLineText failed: 0xe0000102; Microsoft Windows is Not Present
MS: May I have your product key, sir.
IC: [gives completely valid product key]
MS: I’m sorry, sir. That is not a valid product key.
IC: But I bought it at Amazon! And it was shipped with Federal Express.
MS: I’m sorry, sir. It is a counterfeit copy.
IC: I don’t understand..
MS: I’m sorry, sir.
IC: Is there anything you can do for me?
MS: You could contact Amazon, sir. Or..
IC: Or what?
MS: You could send us the CD’s, sir. We will verify authenticity for you.
IC: That would be great! When will I have them back?
MS: We just verify authenticity, sir. We won’t return them.
IC: Even if it is a genuine copy?
MS: Even if it a genuine copy, sir.
IC: Oh..
MS: I’m sorry, sir. Have a nice day. [click]

MS: Microsoft Support. Good morning, sir. Can I help you.
IC: Windows displays some strange message on my screen.
MS: What’s the message, sir.
IC: ReadStringFromInf: UpdSpGetLineText failed: 0xe0000102; Microsoft Windows is Not Present
MS: May I have your product key, sir.
IC: [gives completely valid product key]
MS: Ok, sir. Can you please reboot your PC?
IC: Will that solve the problem?
MS: Please reboot your PC, sir.
IC: Ok, ok, wait a minute.
MS: Please call us again if you eXPerience any more problems. Have a nice day, sir. [click]

MS: Microsoft Support. Good morning, sir. Can I help you.
IC: Hi, it’s me again. I still got the same error.
MS: What’s the error, sir.
IC: ReadStringFromInf: UpdSpGetLineText failed: 0xe0000102; Microsoft Windows is Not Present
MS: May I have your product key, sir.
IC: [gives completely valid product key]
MS: I’m afraid you’ll have to reinstall Windows, sir.
IC: Really? That takes forever. Is there any other way?
MS: No, sir. I’m afraid not. Have a nice day. [click]

MS: Microsoft Support. Good morning, sir. Can I help you.
IC: I reinstalled Windows and I still got the same message box!!
MS: What does the box say, sir.
IC: ReadStringFromInf: UpdSpGetLineText failed: 0xe0000102; Microsoft Windows is Not Present
MS: May I have your product key, sir.
IC: [gives completely valid product key]
MS: That will be fixed in the next release, sir.
IC: The next release? When will that be?
MS: Vista will be released January 2007, sir.
IC: Can I get an update?
MS: No sir, not for a OEM version.
IC: And how much will it cost me to get this new release?
MS: $199 for Windows Vista Home Basic, sir. Do you want to pay with Visa, Mastercard, Diners, etc.
IC: I can order right now?
MS: No sir, we have to charge you $350 for this call.
IC: I don’t get any free support?
MS: No sir, not after sixty days and only if it concerns a bug in our software.
IC: This isn’t a bug?
MS: No sir, it’s a critical security update issue.
IC: [murmurs a credit card number]
MS: Thank you sir, for calling Microsoft support. Have a nice day! [click]
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